Summer Music Festival Toilets? This is Why You Need a Portable Urinal

You are a rock goddess. You love your music and enjoy it all the more when it is live. Your friends are all booked to go to Glastonbury or Electric Picnic or even Burning Man. But...

Do you physically shrink from experiencing a summer music festival because of your fear of the dreaded toilet facilities. Are the horror stories you have heard a myth or reality?

All of us, regardless of gender, have to answer the call of nature and none can honestly say that festival loos are the most pleasant of places. It makes sense to stay out of them as much as possible over the course of a 3 day music festival.

Here are some of the various festival toilet solutions you might experience.

Portaloos
Portaloos are the most common toilet at festivals. And they are a fine solution especially if they have been treated with respect by the hundreds of people who have shared each one preceding you. Portaloos are lockable & so your privacy is protected. This is a major plus for the rock festival goddess.


Portaloos also flush too which helps keep them relatively clean. Of course you depend on previous user to do so & to leave the seat back down. Once in the portaloo you are confined by four walls which can be quite claustrophobic. There is also the problem of smell.

Combine this tight, plastic space with sunny weather and you will be eager to finish as quickly as possible. You might even try the old holding your breath trick. Hold your breath before entering and your next inhalation is when you are outside again. You need to be fit & fast for this one to work.

Of course they do not have lights at night so you will need to bring a torch. Normally they will be some distance away from your tent.

Toilet queues are always long at festivals and they are even longer for portaloos.

One last disadvantage relates to the External Idiot Principle. Whilst in your portaloo you might find your world starting to move. You might think it is an earthquake. But it is actually an External Idiot (EI). They have taken sufficient quantities of cider to believe they are Jet Li. They also think it will be hilarious to use their newly acquired skill to topple a portaloo. Normally, security guards are more than aware of this danger and stop the EI before they do any damage. But sometimes they do not and it would not be a pretty experience for anyone inside at the time.

Slurry Pits
These have a bad reputation but although you might find the odd mishap they are often preferable to most portaloos. This is because there are because they are used quicker. They are exposed to the open air and therefore smell is less of an issue. They are also normally lit.

They are basic almost military in their utility. But this can be a good thing. You can forget privacy as the doors do not lock and even if they did you head still sticks up over the walls. They are emptied daily and if you can time your movements with the departure of the emptying truck you'll find this to be the cleanest time to use this type of facility.

Water Aid cubicles
Apparently introduced at a Glastonbury festival these are the 'continental' type holes in the ground with footprints either side.

They are the most hygienic solution and they have buckets of water and brushes to quickly clean for the next user. There is no light so take a torch when using these after dark visits.

Urinals
Many festivals are now providing urinals for female use! With urinary products like SheWee or Uriwell females can now pee standing up. Using urinals means enjoying a social experience and it is definitely more efficient and hygienic solution for 'Number 1's'.

Night follows day
Night brings a new dimension to the festival toilet experience. During the day you have probably had a beer or two. You are now tired & happy to be in your sleeping bag. You are relaxed & about to sleep. And nature calls. Ahhh! It is a long dark walk to the loos.

Imagine if you'd left your portable, unisex urinal in your boot within easy reach. It is easy to use. Has a lid so no need to worry about spills or odour. You have solved a major festival problem. In fact during the day you avoid all the toilet queues by quickly visiting your tent. Perfect.

A summer music festival can be one of the most enjoyable experiences of your life. You will hear & see great musicians and be surrounded by like-minded people. Do not miss this experience because of festival toilets.

In addition to packing a portable, unisex urinal our last piece of advice is to bring sanitary wipes or spray with you. You will be very glad you did. Enjoy yourself!


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